When Tricia Petteys handed me a copy of "Dare to Lead" by Brené Brown, I had no idea it would fundamentally change how I approach leadership. Actually, I've been gifted this book by several people over the years, and I've read it multiple times – each reading revealing new insights about authentic leadership.
I recently explored this topic as part of an assignment for the UCCS Women in Leadership Program, and while I've been leading this way for two years now, the powerful reflection through that assignment made me realize I needed to share these insights more broadly. Sometimes it takes stepping back to fully appreciate what's already working in practice – and potentially help someone else in their leadership journey.
The Values Exercise That Changed Everything
One of the most impactful exercises in the book is identifying your top core values. After working through the process, I landed on three that define who I am: integrity, security, and connection. At first, it felt like a simple self-awareness exercise. But what I discovered through living with this knowledge has been transformational.
When any of these values is lacking or threatened, my behavior becomes a direct reflection of that threat. I can quickly become aggressive, protective, or slip into fight-or-flight mode – challenging traits that don't serve me or my team well. It was uncomfortable to acknowledge, but incredibly valuable to understand.
However, when these values are "fed" – when I'm operating in an environment where integrity is honored, security is established, and genuine connection exists – I feel energized, confident, and like there are no limits to what can be achieved.
From Self-Awareness to Team Leadership
This self-awareness has made me more proactive in managing my reactions to information (or lack thereof). But the real breakthrough came when I decided to take this learning a step further with my team.
By understanding each team member's core values, I've been able to transform how I approach:
Coaching conversations – I can speak to what actually motivates them
Workload distribution – I understand what energizes versus drains them
Performance tracking – I can align their work style with their values
The Results Speak for Themselves
This process has been eye-opening, fun, and challenging all at once. But the results have been incredibly rewarding. When you lead people in alignment with their core values, you're not just managing tasks – you're connecting with what drives them to do their best work.
It's the difference between telling someone what to do and understanding why they do what they do. That insight transforms how you communicate, delegate, and support each person on your team.
The Bottom Line
Understanding core values – both your own and your team's – isn't just a nice-to-have leadership skill. It's a game-changer that creates more authentic relationships, reduces conflict, and unlocks potential you didn't even know existed.
If you haven't read "Dare to Lead" yet, I highly recommend it. And if you have read it, maybe it's time for another pass. Sometimes the lessons we need most are the ones we're finally ready to hear.
What are your core values, and how do they show up in your leadership style? I'd love to hear about your experiences in the comments.
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